The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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