if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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