It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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