he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I lost the right to judge tonight
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
