I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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