I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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