C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
