Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Randomize
