garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
