Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
