I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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