I didn't shave. On purpose
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize