Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
