i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
