i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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