Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
