Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize