it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
