That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
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