Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
