Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
