i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
