I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
tequila makes me forget i have legs
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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