I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
