Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
