She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
My breasts were aching with rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize