OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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