how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
