lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
