so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
