I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
