I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
im on a boat
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