Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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