My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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