My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Michael Bay diarrhea
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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