you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
