well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
