ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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