Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
