Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
