Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
