And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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