I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
