I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
two words...techno handjob
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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