Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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