I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
