I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize