what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Randomize
