If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
