Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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