Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
