plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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