I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
she told me i tasted like america
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Randomize
