Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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