So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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