Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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