a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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