Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
smell my finger.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize