When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
