I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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