But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
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ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
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Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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