I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Bring me that man meat
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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