Heybabeimwearingurpanties
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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