what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
