sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
dude i'm inner monologue high
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
NoShamevember. You game?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
