Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
