goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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