Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
