DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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